Tuesday, December 21, 2010

For Unto Us A Child Is Given-An Adoption Reflection

Today marks the 4th Anniversary of Bruce, Susan and I becoming a family.  I remember leaving work that afternoon in 2006, thinking, "I'm off to get a family!"  It had been a long journey.  Along the way there had been so much disappointment--failed fertility treatments, miscarriages, my PCOS diagnosis, tests, surgeries,  insurance issues,, and always waiting, waiting, WAITING for that which never came.  Yet it seemed to come to others without thought or effort--at least from my vantage point back then.  This went on for more than a decade.

So as I walked into the courthouse to join my husband and 14-year-old daughter-to-be, I felt a deep sense of joy, love, satisfaction, and relief that the waiting was finally over!  She had lived with us for 16 months in foster care prior to that moment--but knowing that Susan would share our name, our traditions, and our lives from that day forward was the sweetest Christmas gift I could ever have imagined.

So where have the past 14 years taken me?  In short--to hell and back...more than once!  I faced some of my darkest moments as a human being, my marriage crashed and then revived, I withdrew into the depths of depression and then emerged with renewed hope.  Each step of the way, however, presented me with a new lesson to learn and a new person (angel?) to teach it.  My friendships have grown deeper, I have found sweet kindness in the acts of former strangers, and I recognize the miraculous in the mundane.  For all this I am grateful.

And what about the past four years we have spent as a family?  Well, moment to moment does NOT look picture-perfect by any means.  We have joyful moments, but we also have our share of yelling, hurt feelings, arguments, and reminders that we are "awful parents."  In short,  a normal "family-with-a-teenager" experience.   And I would't have it any other way!

                                           Bruce, Susan, & me at her Sweet 16 Party in 2008

                                                      Bruce and Susan (14 yrs) a few weeks before adoption

                                                     Susan this summer:  now turning 18!


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